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7 Secrets to Loving Your Self


Do you Love yourself?

Recently I had a somewhat intense Reiki session which had me in touch with some deep emotional feelings from my child hood which dare I say had me in a blubbering mess……as a result some significant healing took place. At the end of the session I was told (from a place of love and respect) to love myself……….Over the years through my personal and spiritual development this message has become more and more prevalent.  The great inspirers of our time such as Oprah, Louise Hays, and the late Wayne Dyer all talk about self love, in fact everyone and his dog is talking about it.  But what is self love? And more to the point, how do we love ourselves?

Where it begins

As a child I learnt that it was not ok to blow your own trumpet. Thinking of your own needs was considered selfish and admiration in one self was being self absorbed. In fact these actions were considered rude and arrogant. As I emerged from adolescence into adulthood I never really thought about the importance of self love, I just got on with life and did my thing. As my journey progressed into motherhood I devoted much of my time and energy to my family often putting my own needs at the bottom of the list……..I have realized over the years that as women and mothers, this is what we often do. We seem to have this inbuilt genetic trait as nurturers and in doing so we are usually so busy taking care not only of our family but everything else that goes on day to day, that there is no time for us, and the fact of the matter is that by the end of the day we are just too exhausted to care!

So what is self Love?

According to Mr. Google self love is regard for one’s own well being and happiness…..I think it’s safe to say that the majority of us do have concern for our own well being and happiness but do we make it a priority and do we actually love ourselves?  If you’re a momma, like most mums (present company included) your family’s well being and happiness probably ranks the top of the priority list.  I’m guessing your heart explodes with love; compassion and empathy for your kids and you let them know it at ever chance you get. So how often do you do that for yourself?  How many times a day do you say to yourself ‘I love you’?  When you don’t reach the lofty expectations that you have set yourself do you show yourself compassion or do you berate yourself??? When I think of self love I think about having a bath, a pedicure, a massage you know those physical things that we like to reward ourselves with. This is a great start.  But self love is so much more than that………..it’s about self acceptance, liking who we are (warts n all);  Being able to stand in front of the mirror in all our glory (ok, butt naked) and love the sexy, sensual woman staring back at us.  It’s about setting boundaries and taking care of our emotional, physical and mental wellbeing.  It’s about giving ourselves the same compassion, kindness and respect that we so willingly give to others. So how do we embark on this journey of self love?  Below I share some secrets to get you started.

7 Secrets to loving your self

  1. Give to you 1st, make yourself a priority – Remember the safety instructions when taking a flight? Put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. If you don’t take care of you and you keep on giving there will be nothing left of you to give.
  2. Set aside time for yourself every day – This gives you time to catch your breath and slow down. An hour is great but if this is not manageable aim for 10 minute increments throughout the day and then gradually build up to an hour.,
  3. Make good choices for your wellbeing – Choose foods that fuel your body, get more sleep and find ways to reduce stress.
  4. Ask for help when you need it – If you’re an independent kinda girl then the word ‘help’ just isn’t in your vocabulary. Just like you, even super heroes need help from time to time.
  5. Learn the art of saying ‘No’ – Our generous, giving nature means we often won’t say no and end up pilling more stuff on to our to do list, bringing on the feeling of overwhelm.
  6. Acknowledge what you do and what you’ve achieved – Recognize the things you do each day no matter how small and give yourself a pat on the back.
  7. Look in the mirror and say ‘I love you’ – this will feel uncomfortable at first, but stick with it, you’ll be amazed at the change.

          But most of all be kind and gentle you deserve it, you are an amazing human being! xx


  1. August 2, 2016 at 1:44 pm

    The art of saying No is such a hard one to do

    • inspiringvision-Reply
      October 21, 2016 at 5:48 am

      Yes, Julie, it can be quite difficult at times especially with loved ones. This is where we need to set ourselves clear boundaries and love ourselves enough to nurture ourselves first and fill us up, that way we have more to give to our loved ones and more energy to deal with whatever comes our way. What ways do you take time for yourself, Julie?

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